MY STORY

Although I have a dad, I never had a masculine role model to show me how to navigate life as a man.

Yes, he provided for me and the family.

Yes, he continues to provide in the ways he can.

But that's about it. All he's ever done is provide. He's never been that masculine role model I always wanted and needed.

There have been three phases in my life so far where I needed a masculine role model to guide me. In all three phases, my dad failed to be that role model. Here are those phases in more detail.

1. Where it all fell down

I had no idea how I had gotten here. The last thing I remembered was going to sleep in my own bed, yet when I opened my eyes I was in the intensive care unit of BC Children's hospital.

Since I'd never been inside a hospital before, I was the embodiment of confusion. I was so weak that I couldn't really do anything to get anybody's attention.

Confusion turned into fear as I assumed the worst. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes when my parents appeared out of the corner of my eye. I thought everything would be ok now. That is until my parents got close enough that I could see they were distressed as well.

In November of 2008, I went through an incident that would change my life forever. I was in a car crash that would claim not only my ability to walk, but the life of my older brother Andrew, and my younger brother Matthew.

Devastation and confusion were the lenses I viewed life for the next few years. I had no family members in a wheelchair or any friends in a wheelchair. For the first time in my life, I felt completely alone even though I was surrounded by people willing to accommodate me. 

My dad tried to help, but he only made it worse. The day I woke up from my medically induced coma, I remember him saying, "Just trust in God." Not knowing what else to do, I did just that. I prayed and prayed, crying myself to sleep some nights. Nothing I tried worked. For three years, the sinking feeling I had only grew day after day, and trusting in god did nothing to change it.

Nobody had taught me how to properly manage my emotions, so they took control of my life. Because of this lack of knowledge, I ended up becoming depressed and having suicidal thoughts. My saving grace was my friends who kept me distracted long enough for me to find my ground again in life.

Unbeknownst to me, this would only be the beginning of my trials.

2. Trouble with Girls

My first rejection was nothing compared to the third, and that was nothing compared to being cheated on. My dad had tried to teach me how to be good with girls, but the advice he gave me did nothing but backfire. 

I didn't know any better. Like most young men, I didn't know how to properly navigate my interactions with girls. This didn't stop me from trying, but back then I wished that it did stop me.

A year after I had regained my footing in life, I began high school. And like all teenage boys, I was interested in girls. From the age of 13 to 19, I was obsessed with getting a girlfriend. This led to some enlightening experiences.

Not long after I started high school, I remember my parents asking me if there were any girls I liked. I said yes and that I wouldn't give them any more details. My dad laughed at my remark, and told me," Just remember, be her friend first." Because I didn't know any better, I rolled with that advice.

It bears repeating that I didn't know any better, yet that didn't stop me from getting rejected by three different girls. I didn't learn my lesson after the first rejection. Or the second. Or the third!

No, the incident that taught me I was doing something wrong was what happened at the end of my first relationship:
I got cheated on. Twice. By the same girl. Not my proudest moment.

It took seeing my girlfriend getting fucked in front of my own eyes twice to realize that I was doing something wrong. And there was no way I was gonna tell my dad; anytime I tried telling him something he didn't like the sound of, he'd start complaining, criticizing, condemning, or any combination of the three. 

I didn't feel safe telling my dad about my girl troubles, so I felt that I had to rough it. And boy, was it rough.

3. The Aftermath

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Although my dad hadn't intended to fool me, he led me into numerous pitfalls with his advice or lack thereof, and I was done relying on him for guidance.

As mentioned earlier, I realized I was doing something wrong after being cheated on and decided to take a step back to re-evaluate myself. This time, however, would be different.

Nobody had ever taught me what men should strive for in life, and I had no shred of doubt that my dad wouldn't know. I had learned my lesson about asking my dad for advice, so instead of turning to him, I turned to the internet.

The main question on my mind after getting cheated on was why? This led me down into the red pill rabbit hole, where I experienced what is known as red pill rage. Nobody had ever taught me about female nature or human nature, and I could tell right away that there was no way in hell my giga-catholic dad would know this stuff.

I kept digging deeper and deeper, learning more about human nature while becoming more fascinated with it. Nobody had ever taught me anything about human psychology or behavior, so for the first time, I learned about something I was actually interested in.

To list off some of the things I learned about:

• fitness, nutrition, and weightlifting
• human nature, psychology, and behavior
• Masculine & feminine energy
• Mental health & well-being
• Productivity & productivity strategies that actually work
• How to actually be good with girls
• How to have fun flowing conversations
• How to find actual balance in life

To this day, I'm still learning about these topics, and I'm loving it. For the first time in my life, I genuinely enjoy what I do on a day-to-day basis. Using what I learned from these topics, I reinvented myself and am striving each day to become the man I want to be, as well as the masculine role model I wanted for myself.

Nowhere to go but up

In the spring of 2022, I was able to get my little brother Lorenzo into weightlifting and proper nutrition. Back then, he was a twig and I wanted him to at least become a branch. Coincidentally around this time, he also started getting more attention from girls in school. Both of these things our dad tried to intervene in.

He tried discouraging Lorenzo from using protein powder, and he had also given Lorenzo the same advice on girls that I was given years ago.

Both of these instances served to remind me of what I went through. The only thought I had in both of those moments was, "I will guide him toward what actually works."

Fast forward eight months, not only has he built an impressive physique, but he had one girl become obsessed with him which he ultimately broke things off with.

Seeing him get that success lit a fire within me. I realized that he would've been off worse than I had he gone through with our dad's advice and that pretty much all guys his age are going through the same thing. If that can be said for men his age, then it's 100% true for men my age or older.

My mission is to help men struggling with finding their footing in life so that they can stop drifting and start truly living.

Welcome to the club and I hope you enjoy your stay.

- Karl

P.S. If you don't know where to begin, I recommend you check out my blog or improvement YouTubers like Hamza or 1stman