2 important words to learn how to say

productivity Apr 22, 2023
2 important words to learn how to say

In this modern age, there are so many things trying to monopolize our attention. There are so many things that it's impossible to relax. When you learn to say these 2 important words, you'll find that peace is inevitable.

The majority of what contributes to stress comes from doing too much. Having too much on your plate will leave you stressing over finishing what's left.

Rather than taking in more, we need to learn how to only take in what matters. This will vary from person to person but generally follows a similar pattern.

To find what matters, there are 2 important words to learn how to say. They are simple and they are short, so let's dive in.

1. No

I'm sure you've heard this one already. I'm sure you might be tired of it. But, it really is that powerful. Being able to assert yourself over what you want is a vital life skill that many simply are not taught how to do. This is the first step towards achieving focus and finding what matters.

In our modern age, we are taught to de-prioritize ourselves in favor of others. This happens from a young age and is the root of our conditioning.

We are taught to play nice and to always share. We are told to do many things we don't want to do because somebody else already made a sacrifice for us to do those things.

We are taught to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of others. We are taught to rely on others to give us what we want. This only leads to misery.

To rely on somebody else for your satisfaction is an exercise in futility. While you're worrying about how they will fulfill what you want, they're worrying about how to get want.

This is to say that only you know what you want. And because only you know what you want, only you can be responsible for it.

The sooner you learn how to say no to the things you don't want, the sooner you'll be able to make progress toward getting what you actually want. 

The main problem stopping people from learning how to say no is they want to please everybody. If this is you, understand this: you can't please everybody, nor should you.

The people who don't accept you when you become somebody you want to be are the ones who you shouldn't be pleasing in the first place. These are the people who try to put you in a box that doesn't fit you.

Different people will have different expectations of what they want from you, but you cannot let those expectations overtake who you want to be. It's very possible you will be incompatible with people you've known all your life and that's ok.

Your focus should be to find people who will push you to become better, no matter what that may look like. Until you find those people, you need to know how to say no to what you don't want.

2. Why

How many times have you been confused about the actions of somebody else? Now, how many times did you make any progress toward finding out their motivations? Chances are, you made no progress toward figuring them out because their actions didn't line up with your understanding. This is the exact moment you need to be asking why they did it in the first place.

I'm a big believer in achieving understanding. The more you understand, the harder it is to become angry or upset. 

Just like a little kid, asking why until you understand is how you obtain that understanding. Thing is, we're taught not to do this because it's rude and nosy.

Whether it really is rude or not, being curious opens up so many possibilities.

In this modern age, the curious child is squelched in favor of the obedient, well-behaved child. It should be no surprise then that the majority of adults these days are boring, uninteresting, and unambitious.

Having the curiosity to ask why is what leads to important discoveries. In terms of yourself, having the curiosity to discover who you are is an important discovery.

Now, I'm not saying you need to question EVERYTHING, just most things. Through this process, you'll find that the majority of things don't actually matter.

When you ask why, what you're really asking for is, "Why does this matter to me?" Your answer to the question may be different from mine, but what matters is that the answer is true about yourself.

Modern men continuously fail at becoming better because they never ask why. They grew up being conditioned to believe that the world works a certain way. Then, the world doesn't behave the way they were told it would.

Rather than asking why, they play the victim card and throw in the towel. They give up before they've even begun.

The first step to persevering is to ask why.  Why does it matter that you're in shape? Why does it matter that you're good with women? Why does it matter that you have a vibrant social life? 

When you ask why, you're doing the prep work; you're sharpening the axe before chopping the tree. When the pressure's on, we default to our highest level of preparation. Will you be sufficiently prepared?

It's your life to live

One thing that is seemingly forgotten in our modern age is that our lives are our own. Nobody has the right to tell you how to live it, only you can decide that for yourself.

Modern men choose to live a certain way because they believe it'll get them laid. They were raised to believe that being just like the girls will get them more girls.

Once they see that it doesn't work, they don't change course. They complain that the world should change instead of them.

Funny thing is, when they complain, the world responds back with two words: "No" and "Why?" The ways of the world don't change, the people and their circumstances change.

All men who know both success and peace embrace the ways of the world. They know how to say both no and why, and they do so unapologetically. This is the kind of man you need to aim to be in order to life a fulfilling life.

- Karl