3 Techniques To make Conversations Easy

social skills Mar 25, 2023
3 Techniques To make Conversations Easy

I've already talked about tricks and tips to make conversation easier, but I understand that having something actionable makes the process easier. To that end, I want to share with you 3 techniques to make conversations easy.

These techniques are designed to reduce the stress of being good at conversation by stopping you from overthinking. Once you get out of your head, these techniques become even more effective.

Having an easy conversation is simpler than many think. It requires little effort and little thinking, you just have to change your viewpoint.

Best of all, these techniques are easy to pick up. So without further ado, here are the 3 techniques to make conversations easy.

1. Multi-threading

Quick, pop quiz! When telling a story, is it proper conversational etiquette to drop leads to other topics? The answer is: if it flows. 

Multi-threading is a technique revolving around you giving a good number of topics in a way that flows into the conversation. 

For example: say you're telling a story from your childhood about your family pet and you mention how your little brother was scared of him at first. You've just dropped a few threads there; your family pet, your little brother, and your childhood.

This technique gives them some things to branch off of in conversation to keep things going. 

Of course, this technique can also be used by you.

When they talk, listen carefully to what they say. When something stands out to you, follow that thread and see where the conversation goes.

Multi-threading is a technique that revolves around giving you and them things to talk about, avoiding the dreaded awkward silence.

2. Another rule of 3

I've previously talked about the rule of 3 in conversation. That rule is to limit the scope of what you talk about to:

  • you (meaning them)
  • me (meaning you), and
  • us

There is, however, another rule of 3 we can use. That is the rule of 3 with teasing and joking.

When it comes to teasing and joking with others, you want to keep your chiding to a max of 3 times per joke or tease. Any more than this and you risk being perceived as mean or rude.

The reason why this works so well is two-fold.

Number one, you keep things fun without going overboard. Everybody wants to have fun in their interactions with others. By teasing properly, things stay light-hearted and fun.

Number two, teasing in this way naturally builds tension, but not too much. Nobody likes tension to stick around for too long. By creating just enough tension either you or they will do something to release the tension, most commonly in the form of continuing the conversation.

By using the rule of three for teasing and joking you end up with fun conversations that flow more or less naturally.

3. Asking questions

Yes, you read that right. The reason why I put this here is because so many people are shit at asking questions. Let's make sure you aren't one of those people.

Asking questions is one of the simplest yet hardest ways to keep a conversation going or start a conversation. Believe it or not, there is a right way to ask questions.

When asking questions, you want to ask relevant questions. Questions that relate to them somehow so they stay engaged.

But how do you know what questions are relevant? Multi-threading. The things they say are said for a reason: those things are relevant to them.

But how do you keep things interesting? Use the rule of 3 for teasing and joking. Keeping things interesting revolves around staying light-hearted and fun.

As for asking questions before any threads are dropped, that's the hard part that people struggle with.

Unfortunately, there isn't really a graceful way around it. You have to ask a question or two that you don't know the answer to.

Luckily, it's possible to make any answer work. You just have to inquire further.

They said no. Why do they hold that stance? They do like dogs over cats. What do they prefer about dogs over cats? Do they have anything against cats?

This is the kind of logic you must use. Be curious and interested, because that's the easiest way to be more interesting and engaging.

Asking questions in conversation is an art, one that makes conversations super easy and fun when done right.

One step at a time

If all of this is overwhelming for you, then just take it one step at a time. You don't have to master all of these at the same time, just pick the one that stands out the most to you.

By consistently practicing these, you'll become better at conversation in no time. And when that happens, you'll wonder how you ever struggled with something so easy.

- Karl