We'd all love a more peaceful life. We tell ourselves that in order to obtain it, we need this thing or that relationship. We look externally for answers, but this isn't necessary. Sure, these things can make things better, but the main thing that makes a difference is your attitude. Attitude determines your perception, and many men decide to use it against themselves.

Having been part of the red pill community, I can speak from experience. Everything is painted with this color of mistrust and resentment.

It's no surprise then that these men have their perceptions painted with tints of hatred and negativity. They choose to see the negativity in it all and only the negativity.

This is no way to live, especially for men who want to make something of themselves. Attitude truly is altitude, here are 3 things to take it as high as possible.

1. Find the balance between the negative and positive through humility

Over the years, I've noticed that people overwhelmingly want to associate with extremes rather than find a balance. This black-and-white approach makes many things simpler but also brings its own host of problems. In the long run, it's much more beneficial to find a balance between the negatives and positives of your experiences.

First off, let's make one thing clear: I'm not saying to ignore either the positive or negative aspects of an experience. To ignore either of these is foolish.

To truly gain as much as you can from any experience, you must be open to the good, the bad, and the ugly of it. However, most people choose to ignore one or more of these things because it's uncomfortable to go through all of them.

This is a scary process. To admit to your own mistakes means you're telling yourself that you aren't as amazing as you may think.

To gain as much as you can from an experience requires you to be brutally honest with yourself. This means that you must be able to admit to yourself your own mistakes and screw-ups or any trauma that you may be carrying.

For this reason, I recommend developing humility.

Not too much humility, where you downplay your own accomplishments. Not too little, where you can't see your own mistakes. 

You want enough humility so that you can see experiences for what they are. Having this level of humility will allow you to see things as they are in the moment, which makes keeping your head cool much easier.

2. Don't take people seriously, take situations seriously

Just relax more! In this day and age, it's easier said than done. Nobody's ever told you how to do it, and I assume you've got quite a bit on your plate. How are you supposed to manage the stress and tension? A trick I found is to not take people seriously but to instead take the situations they're in seriously.

Let's be honest, everybody loves a good laugh even if it's at their own expense. For the most part, people are good-natured enough to laugh at themselves and not take everything you say seriously.

In Robert Greene's book, The Laws of Human Nature, I read in one of the chapters that resolving conflict requires the people involved to look at the problem as separate from those involved rather than seeing any one person involved as the problem. They are not the enemy, their behavior and circumstances are.

By extensions of this, you can argue that people are not to be taken seriously, but rather the predicaments they find themselves in. This allows you to relax more for two big reasons.

First off, you won't have to be serious all the time. Not all situations require you to be serious. This means that, for the most part, things will stay light and fun.

Ultimately, having these light and fun interactions with others is what allows us to enjoy life more. We gain more enjoyment because we have more fun and less stress.

This also means that you can still crack jokes during more serious moments. A well-timed joke in a serious setting can lift the mood and raise morale.

Second, you'll be able to look at problems more objectively. By taking only the situation seriously, you can more clearly examine what you did and what happened as a result.

What did you do that was beneficial? What did you do that you could improve at? What did you do that wasn't beneficial? This post-situation analysis allows growth to happen faster, and as men growth is a cornerstone of staying on top of our game.

3. Change the way you see things

In this world, perception is reality. You can thank confirmation bias for this. Every day, we experience thousands of different stimuli, but only a few of them register. We choose which ones register based on our perception of things. To make the biggest change in attitude, change your perception.

Attitude is the lens through which you perceive the world in. Depending on attitude, two people can see the same thing differently.

In this modern age, many men choose to see the negatives instead of the positives. After all, much of the content on the internet gives them justification for their negativity.

To become the man you want to be, you need to start changing your perception.

To really change your perception, you need to gather evidence to support the new outlook you want to adopt. This may mean that in the beginning, you'll have to do things like affirmations or behave in ways you never would have thought possible. 

The more evidence you can gather to support your new outlook, the more convinced your brain will become. The more convinced your brain is, the easier it will be for your to see things in that way.

Eventually, the feedback loop works to create a new perception within your mind. Once that's finished, you've now got a new way of viewing the world.

This is known in the world of psychology as exposure therapy, where you deliberately expose yourself to these situations in order to gain experience that counteracts your anxieties and worries. 

Basically, you want to do exposure therapy until you've gathered enough experience to change your perception of that one thing.

As high as you can set your sights

Attitude is a magical thing. If clouded with emotion, it becomes completely erratic. But if you learn to use it properly, then it can be controlled to your benefit.

Most modern men choose to let their attitudes dictate them rather than the other way around. This is why we see so many men acting in feminine ways these days.

By learning to dictate your attitude, you are taking one step closer to becoming more stoic and thus more masculine.

- Karl