Find the things that actually matter

mental health productivity Nov 04, 2023
Find the things that actually matter

In life, there are very few things that truly hold weight. The majority can be ignored without worry. In this age, where there are more distractions than ever, it has become more important for you to find the things that actually matter.

In this post, we'll be going over the following tips to help you find what holds weight in your life:

  • Identify and clearly define your goals
  • Embrace the present moment in a healthy way
  • Live your life, not somebody else's idea of your life

Since this post is meant to be a little shorter, let's dive right in so you can start figuring out what's actually important in your life.

Identify and define the goals that actually matter

Think back to the last time you or somebody you know tried something without preparing first. Chances are it didn't go smoothly. Whether it was supposed to or not aside, when we know what direction to take we naturally figure out what is most important along the way.

Anyone who is lost in life can be described with one simple statement: they have no direction because they have no clear goals. If this describes you, then it's time for some goal-setting.

Growing up, many were taught to do something because they were told to, not because they had some sort of motivation. This way of being raised conditions us out of chasing after our goals unless our goals align with the modern education system.

So, you'll have to re-train yourself to chase your goals by finding goals that actually matter to you and sticking through with them.

To find those goals, all you have to do is ask yourself what you want. Chances are you already know and were just suppressing it because of the way you were raised.

Don't be afraid to set those goals and chase after them. Those goals are what will give you the best direction for your life.

There is no time like the present

In the words of Master Oogway from Kung Fu Panda, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present." The modern struggle for direction and purpose is partly due to people ignoring the present moment in exchange for immediate pleasure.

It's one thing to set your goals, it's another to be present enough to receive the gifts and lessons along the way. Our devices make it all too easy to get caught up.

That thing you did years ago? Nobody remembers. Your folks say the end of the world is near? They have no proof.

You can't change the past, so leave it in the past. The more you hold on, the more your past weighs you down like an anchor. If you never let go, you can never move forward.

You can't predict the future either, so leave it to be discovered. The joy of a mystery is in wondering what comes next, not trembling because of what punishments await.

More often than not, things that happen in the past or present don't actually matter. They only hold the weight you assign to them.

If you allow past events or predictions of the future to weigh you down, then they will. Embrace this gift we call the present moment and you'll find so much more value to be had.

Find the way of life for you that actually matters


 Think back to a time when you did something, even though you didn't want to. Chances are you were guilt-tripped into it or didn't want to seem like a jerk, or both. This way of living, living only for the expectations of others, is a one-way trip to misery.

If you don't live your life the way you want to, then you'll never find the things that actually matter to you. As long as you aren't the captain of your boat, you'll never arrive at your true destination.

Of course, find a balance. Don't be completely selfish, but learn how to say no. Having this balance is the difference between living life the way you want and following somebody else's ideas for your life.

This process is also simple. Ask yourself whether or not you would be doing what you're currently doing if it was only you. 

If the answer is no, then you need to set some boundaries. You need to cut that activity out and set the boundaries that keep it out.

If the answer is yes, then there's no problem. You can continue with no problems.

The issue in our era is there are far too many people living life according to what somebody else wants. They will give up so much and only regret it later.

When you live a life where you give up your vision of your life for somebody else's, you can't find the things that actually matter anymore. It's no longer your life, so nothing will hold any meaningful weight.

You must hold fast to your way of life, even if it means that you have to say some goodbyes. It's much better to live a life you can be happy with than one that makes everyone else happy but keeps you miserable.

The things that actually matter depend on you

We will all have different ways of life, even with overlapping similarities. The important thing is you keep up the fight because you'll often find the best answers while you're down in the mud.

This is a process, so it will take time. However, it's a process that's well worth the effort. Remember, there's no time like the present to make a change, so get out there and make those important changes!

- Karl