Fragile Masculinity is so common. Here's How to reverse it

masculinity Oct 06, 2022
Fragile Masculinity

Let's face it, many men these days have a fragile sense of masculinity.

The guy at your gym, your high-school teacher, your best friend, even your dad; it's very possible that all of these men have a fragile sense of masculinity.

However, nobody talks about it. It's not seen as a problem because it's seen as acceptable by society. As a result, modern men are allowed to wallow in self-defeating weakness.

Most men believe that being masculine means serving the feminine and its desires. This belief warps them & their lives around it, taking their mental health with it.

Some others believe being masculine means being the bad boy who bangs all the girls. A lot of guys these days know how much girls love bad boys, so why not become one?

Whatever way they view it, it's not actual masculinity. Fragile masculinity is something that requires action to be taken to reverse. Here are my top three tips for reversing fragile masculinity.

1. Fragile Masculinity is Often acquired, not natural

Whatever sense of masculinity you have, it's often acquired from someone or something else.

For most boys, this comes from watching their dads interact with their moms. They see how their dad always panders to their mom's wishes, so they believe that's how men are supposed to treat women.

The men who become bad boys are the ones who saw that the girl(s) he was interested in went after the guys who were nothing like the placating doormat he was. Sex is the primary motivator of men, so seeing another man succeed as a bad boy motivates him to become one too.

Either way, fragile masculinity is 9 times out of 10 a learned thing and not natural. Just recognizing this is powerful because it means you can unlearn it.

2. Unlearning Fragile Masculinity Requires Definition

In order to reverse fragile masculinity, you need to reframe the definition of masculinity before you take action.

In all examples of fragile masculinity, there is one common thread: It always comes back to women.

The pandering doormat serves women to gain their favor. He believes that this type of behavior will make her eventually fall in love with him.

The bad boy wants to be a bad boy to bang the hottest women. He believes that this is the only way to prove he is actually a man worth respecting since sex is the primary motivator of men.

The list could go on, but they'd all share that same common thread. In order to break free, you need a new definition.

Rather than defining masculinity based on fragile external factors, we must now look within and base it on enduring internal factors.

Rather than masculinity being about women, masculinity is about freedom & strength gained through progress.

3. Take Action in line with your New Masculinity Definition

After you adopt this new definition of masculinity, start taking action that aligns with it. 

Taking action toward freedom means being able to do what you want when you want, with whom you want, and where you want. The most natural progression for this is to not need a job. 

Do keep in mind that you can & should have a job, but only as a stepping stone toward freedom. Don't expect to work a job for life & be free at the same time.

Taking action toward strength requires you to nurture both your mind & body. A masculine man has both, and keeps both healthy.

Nurturing your body requires you to do things such as going to the gym, eating healthy, or doing martial arts. Nurturing your mind requires activities like meditating, journaling, reading, or having fun with friends & family.

Whatever you decide to do to nurture your masculinity, keep it in line with your new definition & progress consistently week after week to see the best results.

- Karl