Know when Enough is EnoughMar 08, 2023
When was the last time you stopped something because it was enough? Enough playtime, time to work? Enough lazing around, time to get up? Enough staying up, time for bed? Whatever it is, most people struggle to know when enough is enough. That's a problem.
It's no secret that modern people struggle with mental health and well-being. Without good mental health, you miss out on inner peace and don't know when to stop.
When you don't know when enough is enough, the quality of your life deteriorates over time. Everything starts to fall apart bit by bit, and once you decide to do something you have a mess to clean up.
Knowing how to self-regulate in this fashion is crucial for your well-being. Here are some examples from my life that demonstrate how to draw the line.
1. Enough is enough in college
The vast majority of families these days place an unhealthy amount of importance on doing well in school. Sure, do your best, but it's becoming toxic. My family is no different; teaching the kids to do well in school so they can get a good job. This mentality has become a problem for children.
When I graduated from high school, I was lacking in two things: a sense of how the world actually worked, and a sense of how difficult things actually are. I had complete faith that post-secondary education would be just as easy as high school.
It's with this belief that I signed up for one of the most competitive colleges in British Columbia, BCIT. I would come to regret this decision very quickly.
Not only was it a very competitive school, but I also signed up for one of the most competitive programs available, computer science.
Every school day would start at 8:30 am and end at around 5:00 pm. It was basically a full-time job without pay.
Eventually, my health started to deteriorate. Mentally, I was getting worn down to the point I would half-ass my work, and physically, I wasn't getting enough sleep or exercise.
Although there was part of me against it, I ultimately decided to drop out.
When I broke the news to my parents, they tried for at least 30 minutes to convince me to at least finish my final exams. I spent all of those 30 minutes repeating back to them that I wasn't going back.
Not even a week later, all markers of my health had improved. I was feeling better than ever, and I was finally able to get a good night's sleep in months.
Even when your family and friends are telling you otherwise, you must be able to tell for yourself when enough is enough.
2. Love is never enough on its own
How many of you have been told that love conquers all? I was one of them. I'm also one of the people who had the privilege to have that belief shattered from personal experience. Love is such a troublesome, fickle creature, but that's also what makes it worth capturing. Regardless, too many people get caught in the chase that they don't realize they're drowning in mud.
My first relationship was a very enlightening experience. I got to test out so many things I was learning about human nature while also getting more experience with girls.
Up to this point, I had no experience with women outside what I had been taught by my parents and by modern media. I was clueless, yet I acted like I knew what I was doing.
This did have its benefits. At least in the beginning, my girlfriend saw me as alpha and charismatic. Faking it till you make it does indeed work for a while.
However, along the way, cracks started forming. My true self started to show, and that's when the problems started.
Without going into too much detail, she ended up cheating on me. And I, in my foolishness, decided to not only forgive her but take her back.
Can you guess what happened next? She cheated again.
Although I was foolish, I wasn't that foolish. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I knew that much at least.
It's there that I ended the relationship. I didn't let her convince me otherwise; no amount of her rambling changed my mind and I'm glad it didn't.
My only regret is I never got to have sex with her, but it is what it is.
Know when enough is enough, even when it goes against your own desires.
3. Enough surgery, enough suffering
Because of my disability, I've had to have a lot of surgeries in my life. In total, I've had six. I would've, however, ended up having seven were it not for a decision I made in 2018. We all have choices to make, and too many men struggle with making choices.
One of the annoying things I've had to deal with as a paraplegic is muscle spasms. Specifically in my legs.
I had always used medications to counteract it, but the medication I was prescribed, baclofen, had the detrimental side effect of drowsiness.
Coupled with the fact that I had to be put on a stronger than normal dose, I was perpetually sleepy. My doctors were surprised that I was able to do well in school even with those meds.
Eventually, I would learn that there was a device that would inject the medicine directly where it needed to go, and in a microdose. A baclofen pump it was called, and I got to experience its effects for about a month.
In 2014, I had the surgery to put it in my body and it did exactly what they said it would. My leg spasms disappeared along with the side effects of the medication.
However, complications arose. Put simply, the pump prevented me from recovering from the surgery properly so it had to be removed.
Years later, in 2018, I was offered to have it reinstalled. It's then that I weighed the pros and cons.
Pros: no more spasms, no need for medications
Cons: I have this thing protruding from underneath my side, it needs to be refilled and maintained every few months, and my mobility would be limited.
In the end, I decided against it and went with the oral medication.
Fast forward to today, I've found a way to counteract my spasms without medication: exercise. I now get the effect of the meds without the meds, even if my spasms aren't fully gone.
Know when enough is enough, for there may be alternative options just lying around.
A world of decisions
There are so many choices to be made, yet so many don't give them the weight they deserve. A single decision made too lightly is all it takes to throw your life off balance.
In this world, even the toughest choice won't throw you off if made carefully enough.
I'll leave you with this quote from one of my favorite video games:
"There is a fine line between consideration and hesitation. The former is wisdom, the latter is fear."
- Emperor Izaro, Path of exile
P.S If you found this post helpful, consider checking out my newly refurbished Masculine foundations boot camp. In there, I talk more about knowing when enough is enough.
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