Masculine and Feminine Energy & the importance of eachNov 19, 2022
Masculine and feminine energy are the factors that determine your overall behavior patterns. Even if someone is predominantly masculine or feminine, they can be conditioned to exhibit more energy of the one they are not.
This is the main thing that held me back from getting the girls I wanted when I was younger, and chances are if you can relate then you faced a similar issue.
Knowing how to behave a certain way is one thing, but actually being able to project the energy makes it believable.
Masculine and feminine energy is behind the successes of all successful people. Here's what I've learned about this topic over the years.
1. Having the wrong energy makes you insufferable
How many times in your life have you had an interaction where you felt as if you were being a hindrance rather than a help? Or how about an interaction where you bulldozed the other person in the name of helping? I've had exactly these kinds of interactions in my younger years, all because I had more feminine energy.
In high school, we would have end-of-year band exams where we would have to play certain musical pieces from memory. Everybody dreaded it, including me, so I'd get it done as soon as possible.
One of the people in my class was practicing, and I thought I'd "help." I told her how to play a certain sequence in the piece, and it only served to upset her.
Looking back now, I see that the better way to help would have been to ask first. However, because I was so feminine back then, I felt I had to prove my usefulness. It also didn't help that she was a girl I was interested in.
Masculine energy is predicated upon progress & freedom, while feminine energy is predicated upon fulfillment & security. In this example here, I was more focused on fulfillment from feeling secure in my usefulness rather than having the freedom to make progress in my life.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to be useful, but this example illustrates the main point quite well. Having the wrong energy can lead you to do things that make you less enjoyable to be with, causing others to push you away.
2. Congruency is impossible if you have the wrong energy
One of the big reasons having the wrong energy makes you insufferable is a lack of congruency. Congruency is simply healthy predictability. Having the wrong energy makes this healthy predictability impossible, if not extremely difficult.
The most common example of this amongst modern men is with the girls they're interested in. The logical process if you like somebody is to go approach them with romantic intentions.
I did not get this memo growing up. I had a huge crush on one of the girls in my grade, and I waited four years before making any moves, even though by then she already knew.
I know now that as the man I'm expected to lead and initiate. However, back then, my feminine energy was so much more abundant than my masculine energy that I was waiting for her to make a move.
Masculine and feminine energy, when coupled with those who are masculine or feminine respectively, creates such a strong congruency that it's hard for them not to be authentic.
3. Masculine and feminine energy is the Foundation of Romance
The biggest argument for having the right energy, your dating life will not be in alignment if you have the wrong energy.
Modern society would have you believe that your dating life is not that important. They tell you that it's the cherry on top, not the ice cream in the sundae.
This couldn't be further from the truth. Dating, having sex, and having a romantic partner to be with are all big factors toward life satisfaction.
Before I started my self-improvement journey, I was obsessed with getting a girlfriend. I would think of so many things I could do to impress girls or be smoother, rather than thinking about how I could improve myself & my quality of life.
The irony is that my mom was telling me to wait till I was around 28 to date or start a family. However, because I was so feminine, I wanted a relationship more than anything else.
I got exactly what I wanted, and ended up getting cheated on. I couldn't see the red flags because I wanted the relationship, and I got burned as a result of it. On top of this, there were instances where she was more masculine than me, but because I was so feminine I didn't see anything wrong with it.
Looking back, I see now that she left me for a man who was masculine compared to me. She wanted to be girly and feminine, but because I was being feminine she didn't feel safe being feminine.
Having proper masculine energy will inspire her to behave in a feminine manner, which will make you feel more manly, making you behave more masculine and the cycle continues.
Masculine and feminine energy in Modern Society is under attack
The reason why you see so few men who are actually masculine and so few women who are actually feminine is that it's being conditioned out of us from a young age.
Modern society doesn't want you to have a good life, because depressed people are easily controlled. If you're easily controlled, you can be told what to do without resistance.
The end result of this is you slave away at a job for 40 years to provide for a family you don't really want. Having proper masculine energy is the key to living the good life as a man, as it brings the progress and freedom all men crave.
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If you liked this post or found this content helpful, consider checking out my Mind over matter masculinity blueprint. In that program, I go into more detail about masculine & feminine energy and why it's more important than ever to understand each. More details on my products page.