Take the time to Understand whyDec 17, 2022
In the word of G.I. Joe, "Knowing is half the battle." Arguably speaking, knowing is actually 80% of the battle. I've learned through my own experience that it always pays off to take the time to understand why.
In the modern-day, so many people don't bother trying to understand why things are the way they are, or why people have their motivations. They simply look at whether it aligns with them or not and make their conclusions from that point.
When you understand why you understand how to proceed. Rather than trying to shove an agenda, you can actually make progress.
In a previous post, I mentioned that understanding is vital to reaching your masculine peak. Here are three situations from my life that taking the time to understand why helped me the most.
1. Taking the time to Understand Women
What if I told you I learned how to become better with women from a YouTube Ad? No joke, I bought one of those eBooks from an ad, and it changed the course of my life.
One summer day, as I was coming home from the mall with my Dad and brothers, I was watching a video on YouTube. Because I had no AdBlock on my phone, I got an ad.
The ad was for this product from a guy who had his heart broken by the girl of his dreams. He explained how it was one of the worst experiences of his life and didn't want any other guys to experience it.
I was skeptical at first, but it was only $60 and had a 3-month money-back guarantee with no questions asked. I bought the eBook and read it as soon as I got home.
A month later, I coincidentally got into my first relationship. Although it ended after she cheated on me, throughout the early stages of the relationship I had so many opportunities to implement what I was learning, from both that eBook and the red pill content I was watching on YouTube.
The stuff I learned went so against what I was conditioned to believe, but it still made enough sense to me that I was willing to try it. To my delight, it all worked. Not exactly the way it was explained, but close enough that I could see myself improving.
Although the main reason I wanted to become better with women was for my dating life, it also ended up improving my relationship with my mom. After learning how to become better with women and becoming more masculine over time, I noticed my mom became much more feminine around me.
On one hand, I was learning how to make women like me more by being the kind of man women actually like. On the other hand, I was also learning about the dark side of women and what to expect from them.
From that $60 eBook, I was set on the path of understanding women better so I can avoid the worst-case scenario horror stories you hear men go through these days.
2. Taking the time to Understand Communication
Growing up introverted was not easy. I had to rely on extroverts adopting me into their groups and interactions to get by socially.
After graduating from high school, I had had enough of being socially inept and took it into my own hands. I took the time to understand how communication works.
Funny enough, I started becoming better at communication for the sake of being better with women. One of the common things I heard over and over from men's dating advice was to be good at conversation.
Because I had never been good at conversation, this worried me. How would I learn to be good at conversation? Apparently, through books combined with trial and error.
I had bought so many books on the topic of conversation that I could fill a whole row on my bookshelf with them. By the end of the year, I had gone through all of them and implemented what I read. The end result was that I was less socially inept compared to before.
Why hadn't I reached my goal? I had put so much effort into achieving it, yet I wasn't that much closer to it.
It's at this point I took a step back and watched an episode of RWBY. Volume 3 episode 3, after Qrow and winter's fight scene.
Qrow tells everybody that the enemy is in their midst, to which general Ironwood says, "We know." Qrow gets upset since nobody told him they knew even though he'd been risking his life to get this information and responds by saying, "Communication is a two-way street, pal!"
Ever since hearing this line, it stuck with me. Every time I'd have a conversation, I'd remember this line. That's when things started to click.
All of a sudden, conversations were less daunting and less awkward. Over time, I started to internalize that communication takes more than one person to be effective.
Before, I would overcommit and put in more effort than I should. Now, I put in my effort and then let the other person have the opportunity to put in theirs. This way of handling things has made interacting with other people much easier for me.
By taking the time to understand communication, I was able to break free from the stereotypical social awkwardness that introverts face.
3. Taking the time to Understand Human Nature
The more I learn about human nature, the more I see why modern people are miserable. Taking the time to understand human nature has shown me the truth of the human experience.
Growing up in the Catholic faith, I always felt as if there was something wrong. I was told that it was right to follow and believe in it, yet it always felt off, as if I could be doing something better with my time.
Years later, after learning about the nature of masculinity, I realized that it was my internal drive to do something great with my life and to stop wasting time.
After becoming more productive, this pang eventually went away when I'd go to church. It went away because I started analyzing the other people at church.
I noticed just how feminine everybody was, including the men. Overweight, weak jaw lines, out of shape, poorly groomed, poor style, and the energy of a docile creature; these were not men, these were boys.
I'd notice a similar pattern amongst my little brother's friends. Weak, docile, out of shape, waiting for the girl they're interested in to make a move; they were behaving like girls. The worst part? The girls were behaving the way the boys should.
After seeing all of this, I started to notice a pattern. Everybody who follows this modern narrative of men being soft and women being manly end up miserable. Those girls in my little brother's grade? They're not doing any better than their male counterparts.
Contrast this to me and my little brother; I'd learned about human nature, then taught the important stuff to my little brother. We don't face the same problems.
By taking the time to understand human nature, I was able to free myself from the modern narrative which keeps men utterly miserable.
Start with why
One of the most influential books I've read is "Start with why" by Simon Sinek. The main lesson I took away from it is to start with the motivation behind something, then go from there when finding answers.
By starting with why you are able to find answers more efficiently by narrowing the focus of what you need. By taking the time to understand why, you are acquiring the information you need to make a faster, more effective decision.