The 3 pillars of masculine behavior

masculinity Jan 07, 2023
The 3 pillars of masculine behavior

All my life, I'd wondered why I always felt so wrong doing the things I told were right. Since I started my self-improvement journey, I've come to realize that I was lacking in the 3 pillars of masculine behavior.

From the beginning of my journey, I immersed myself in learning more. Learning about human nature, behavior, psychology, and fitness.

Not everything I learned has come in handy, but quite a bit of it has made so many things much clearer in my life. A lot of it wasn't useful right away either, but I kept going and now it's coming together.

I believe that every man should at least know what to look for when trying to improve. So for that, here are the 3 pillars of masculine behavior you should focus on gaining competence in.

1. Mental Health

It's been so long since I've had brain fog that I no longer remember what it's like. I'm confident that many men experience either brain fog or lack of focus. Regardless, the first pillar towards achieving masculine behavior is mental health.

Have you ever had a moment in your life where you just couldn't do what you felt was right? Like standing up for what you believe in? I had those moments, and I couldn't for the life of me hold my ground.

I remember in my first year of high school, I had such a huge crush on a girl. It got to the point where even if I needed to go to the washroom, I'd hold it in just to spend more time with her.

Looking back now, it's so stupid but understandable. I had such low self-esteem because I had super shit mental health. 

I grew up in an environment where my opinion or emotions didn't matter if it went against what my parents wanted.  This led to me believing that I had to always prove my worth.

Luckily, I got the motivation to really start working out and meditating after dropping out of college and having too much free time. 

For those of you who think it'll take too much time to work on your mental health, it doesn't. Doing as little as 2 minutes of meditation a day and working out 3 times a week is enough to have a huge impact on your well-being.

The first and most important pillar of masculine behavior is mental health. It all starts in your mind, where you decide whether you believe in yourself or not.

2. Physical Health

It's known since the time of the ancient greeks that a man should not be a novice in the realm of fitness, yet so many men these days are exactly that. Some say it's shallow, yet so many men who sculpt their dream bodies are so happy with the results. The second pillar of masculine behavior is physical health.

Raise your hand if you had a weight training section in your PE classes growing up. Now, keep your hand up if those PE classes also kept you motivated to continue your training.

Yeah, me neither.

Many men, for whatever reason, have no motivation to keep up with any level of physical training. The modern-day lambasts them with messages of, "It's what's on the inside that counts!" and "If you workout strictly for appearance-based reasons, you are fatphobic!"

Since many men don't have the mental health required to resist the modern media's influence, they go along with it. They start to not only parrot the messages but believe them.

By getting men to not be physically fit, they end up mentally weak. These messages are meant to keep men weak so they're easier to control.

What's even more fascinating is that the men who do keep up their physical fitness tend to be happier. They enjoy life more and find more fulfillment in their tasks.

By far the biggest benefit of being physically fit is that a strong body allows your mind to also be strong.

Exercise has been shown to release a lot of chemicals that either make you feel good or lower stress. A few benefits of exercising include higher energy levels, better sleep, a sharper memory, and a heightened sense of well-being.

By making sure you are keeping up with your physical health, you are making it easier for you to be fit both mentally and physically.

3. Social Health

Many men would agree that the hardest part of approaching a girl is what to say when you approach them. I agree that it's the hardest part, yet it's still not that hard. Many men struggle with this because they have such poor social skills. Social health is the third pillar of masculine behavior, encompassing more than just romantic relationships.

I was a socially awkward kid growing up. I had no social finesse, no conversation skills, no charm, and absolutely no idea how to talk to girls. 

It didn't end well for me.

Ever since I learned about proper conversation and how to hold and start fun conversations, I've noticed a drastic improvement in my social anxiety.

When it comes to improving your social skills, there are two main things to keep in mind.

First, stop overthinking. 

Many men struggle with conversation because they believe that the words on the tip of their tongues aren't good enough. The end result is they say nothing, so the conversation gets nowhere.

As an example, many men think they need some grandiose pickup line to make a girl interested in talking to them for more than a minute. In reality, authentically telling her you think she looks pretty in her outfit is enough to spark conversation.

Second, it's a two-person operation.

I said in a previous post that I made an epiphany long ago that communication is truly a two-way street. This means that if they aren't carrying their weight in the conversation and you are, you don't have to deal with them.

I used to fail in communication because I used to believe that I had to be responsible for how the conversation made them feel. As a result, I'd always focus on making them feel secure, while I was left in the dust.

This doesn't mean you say things that make them uncomfortable. It simply means you need to find the balance where you both enjoy the conversation.

Though you still need to know how to make small talk, when you get social skills under your belt it makes a universe of difference.

Fill your cup first

The pillars of masculine behavior revolve around one idea: fill your cup first, then let your overflowing cup fill up the cups of others. Many men don't follow this idea because they've been conditioned to give, give, give, even when they still are in need themselves.

By focusing on yourself for some time in these areas, you end up being able to give so much through sheer value. Your cup starts to overflow, so you aren't sacrificing yourself in the process.

- Karl