Three Non-physical Traits you need for Peak Masculinity

mental health Dec 14, 2022
Three Non-physical Traits you need for Peak Masculinity

Most content on masculinity these days focuses on the same few things. Money, muscles, fucking girls, and being free. While these are parts of masculinity, it's equally as important to look at the non-physical traits that contribute to making the man.

At the beginning of my improvement journey, there was a severe saturation of content surrounding the bad boy lifestyle. This content teaches young men to focus on purely materialistic things like muscles, money and having sex.

Ironically, focusing on materialistic things is a very quick way to destroy a man's masculinity. Again, they can help cultivate masculinity, but these guys promote these things to the extreme.

I've learned on my journey that masculinity is majority non-physical and minority physical. Here are the three non-physical traits you need for reaching peak masculinity.

1. Decisiveness

"Where do you wanna eat?"

"I don't know, how 'bout you?"

This conversation happens every time you ask a girl this question. Rather than go on this roundabout with her, be the leader and make a decisive decision.

Like many young men growing up, I was very feminine. Part of that was being indecisive. I remember having a hard time making decisions for simple matters.

One day at school, a teacher was asking me how I wanted my desk oriented, to which I responded, "I don't know." His response to me was, "You know, you act just like my teenage daughter when making decisions."

That hit really hard. I wanted to be manly, yet here I was being told that I behave like a woman. The worst part was I didn't know how to change myself to be more decisive.

It wasn't until after graduation that I learned how to be decisive. It's really simple: know what you want, then make decisions that bring you closer to what you want.

This is the logic I've employed around decision-making ever since, and I've noticed an increase in my well-being. Not having to worry about decisions all day really clears up head space.

Being decisive is crucial to masculinity so you can retain mental clarity and get more done.

2. Understanding

How many conflicts happen when two people truly understand each other?

That's right. ZERO. While not feasible to expect two people to completely understand each other, it's so much easier when at least you understand the other person.

I've found in my life that when I understand why something is the way it is, I can't get upset at it. Because I know why it happened, I can easily create a solution.

This is why I got rejected three times in high school, then cheated on after dropping out. I didn't understand what made women tick, and it took me getting cheated on to really learn that lesson.

Fast forward a year and a half, and I've gotten a grasp on how women actually behave. Because of this understanding, I can now poke fun and tease women without getting on their bad side.

In Dale Carnegie's Book, "How to win friends and influence people", the main lesson he says to take away from the book is to look at the situation from their perspective. How would you react from their perspective?

Accurately answering this question requires you to first understand their perspective. Once you do, you can arrive at solutions that work for both of you.

By understanding somebody else's perspective, you can make decisive decisions that are more effective.

3. Balance

"You can have too much of a good thing. Except for God." Those were the words my dad said one day at the dinner table. Unfortunately, he was wrong. You must strike a balance.

Growing up in a catholic family, I was never allowed to properly express my sexuality. Any and all signs of sexual interest I wanted to make known was suppressed in the name of chastity.

This suppression led me to have problems with porn and interactions with girls. 

When it came to girls, I had trouble with them because I felt as if it were shameful for me to be a man. I wasn't allowed to freely express my interest, so I came to believe that I had to get approval in order to be sexual. This led to me being a simp.

When it came to porn, I ended up consuming it because I had no outlet for all this sexual interest. I wanted to know that it's perfectly fine to have these urges and desires, but the church would only ever tell me to keep them under control. This led to those urges controlling me.

Now that my little brother Lorenzo is at that age, I give him the freedom of speech to express what he really wants to say. The amount of time we've spent talking about the asses of the girls he's been checking out at school would have you believe I was a teenager as well.

Here's the interesting part: he has zero trouble with masturbation or interacting with girls.

Sure, he had his rocky moments before I taught him how to properly handle girls, but he never had the same shy nervousness modern teenage guys usually have.

I struggled with those things because I was taught to be ashamed of my sexuality. My little brother has no trouble with it because he's internalized that it's completely normal to have those urges and desires.

By striking a balance, you avoid the extremities which leads you to have extreme behavior.

The Gigachad within

I've learned that the best men these days are the ones who are a blend of intellectual and manly. These are the men who have both the physical and non-physical traits that contribute to masculinity.

It's important to understand that these men didn't start life this way. They had to build themselves up over the duration of their lives.

Put in the time to cultivate your best masculine self, and the rewards will be more than worth it.

- Karl