It has ever been the case that you must be the one to bring yourself what you want. However, in this modern era, it's become more relevant. In this era, where we are taught to be always considerate, nobody has the balls anymore to go after what they want. As a man, this isn't acceptable. To get what you want in life, you must be your biggest advocate.

There's this idea that if you give others what they want, they will give you what you want. While there is truth to this, it isn't feasible to rely on it.

We cannot always know what others want, so relying on this to get what we want is a flimsy strategy. It is much better to advocate for what you want, which is in your complete control.

It's time that you take back your initiative rather than leave it to others. Here are two ways you can be your biggest advocate.

1. Stop being so hard on yourself

It's a very common thing these days for young people to be especially hard on themselves. While there is certainly merit to this, it's gone too far. There is no reason for anybody to be so harsh on themselves. If you cannot stop this behavior, you will continue your streak of self-sabotage.

This behavior of being hard on oneself stems mainly from school. You're encouraged to do well on tests to get good marks as bragging rights, but also so you don't get in trouble with your parents.

As a result, we get young people who are absolutely obsessed with being perfectionists. This causes them to push themselves too hard over the smallest things.

In order to be your biggest advocate, you need to be a cheerleader instead of a disciplinarian. Rather than bring yourself down, you need to bring yourself up or keep yourself neutral. 

As an example, let's say you went to the gym for a month and saw no significant gains. This leads you to feel discouraged.

Rather than telling yourself that you'll never make it or that you have bad genetics, you can remind yourself that it takes more than a month to build an impressive physique.

Another way to combat this specific scenario is to take progress pictures or to measure yourself. This way, you have concrete evidence of any gains or lack thereof.

By taking either of these approaches, you prevent yourself from catastrophizing yourself into apathy. Staying grounded in yourself is key to believing in yourself.

As long as you aren't dragging yourself down, you can keep making good progress toward your goals. The last thing you want is to slow yourself down unnecessarily. And if you don't stop being hard on yourself, you won't believe in your own capabilities.

2. Be okay with walking away

In any negotiation, the one who is willing to walk away will always have the leverage to get what they want. For modern people, this means that they don't get what they want because they won't walk away from the table. To be your biggest advocate, you must be able to walk away from a deal that doesn't fit what you want.

This method of doing things is not all that approved of in the modern day. In fact, many will call you selfish and callous for this kind of approach.

However, being called these things is actually the least of the worries in this scenario. If doing this means being selfish and callous, then that's what you are.

It is infinitely better to disappoint those around you than to live their idea of your life. When you live someone else's idea of your life, it only leads to misery.

For this step, there's not much else to it than to have a spine and a pair of balls.

Having a spine means you are able to stand up for what you want. This means that you won't put up with others not respecting your wishes.

If someone cannot agree to the terms you laid out for the deal, then you must have the spine to not compromise.

Having a pair of balls means you have the courage to follow through with what you stand for. Most men lack this these days, which is why they go nowhere in life.

Once you've determined that someone will not angle for a win-win scenario with you, you must have the balls to say no and walk away.

By combining these two things (metaphorically speaking), you end up being able to advocate for what you want. 

Belief is the strongest metal of them all

Combining belief in yourself with being able to walk away will lead you to be able to advocate for yourself. However, it is only once you believe in yourself that being able to walk away will mean anything.

If you cannot believe in yourself, then it doesn't matter what you do. There will always be that creeping thought that brings you down.

To be your biggest advocate is to be free in believing in yourself, knowing that you are capable of walking away from a bad deal. 

- Karl