Having the charisma to effortlessly navigate social situations is something that many people dream of. They grow up in a way that stifles their natural capabilities. The reality is that the majority of people are stifled because they were told to be quiet or to "behave" themselves when they were little. This limitation of our natural energy is what causes us to become socially inept. For this reason, in modern society, having charisma unlocks your life.

Being able to navigate interactions with others is a skill every human needs. You'll be interacting with others for the vast majority of your life, so knowing how to handle those situations is key.

On the other hand, having charisma also leads to you enjoying interacting with others more. And when things are fun, we want to do it more.

Regardless of the reason, acquiring charisma is a goal that men should have near the top of their list. Here are two ways to obtain charisma that unlocks your life.

1. They want to talk, they just want you to start

We are social animals. Social animals that evolved to talk. And as social animals, the exchange of information and experiences is something innate to us all. Our modern day has taught us that we should aim not to disturb strangers, but as a result, we have a society of people who are afraid to approach others.

It's no secret that it's become rarer for people to talk to others in public. Unless there's a specific reason that can be justified logically, like asking for directions, most people don't talk to others.

While having an alibi like asking for directions is certainly helpful, it's not necessary. Because we are social animals, we want to be social with others.

This doesn't only apply to you, it also applies to others. Just because they have a cold expression on their face right now doesn't mean they won't be smiling in five minutes.

The hardest part of learning to just talk to others is becoming okay with starting social scenarios.

The easiest way to do this is to ask simple open-ended questions like, "What did you do yesterday?" This shows interest in them, while also forcing an answer that isn't a one-word answer.

Look at it this way: We live in a society where people don't want to take the initiative, but they want others to do it. If you can become the person who takes the initiative when no one else will, you'll be putting yourself at a distinct advantage.

2. Weave those threads, both yours and theirs

Ever end up in situations where you run out of things to say and can't figure out anything at all to say? Yeah, me too, and it sucks. However, there's an easy way around it. It requires you to say a little more than what is required, but it is always worth it especially once you get used to it.

Let's cover the simple reason why conversations die. There isn't enough material to work with, whether it's your fault, theirs, or both of you.

What this means is that one of you hasn't given enough information for the other person to work off of. Because there isn't enough to go off of, the conversation dies down.

Luckily, there's an easy way around this. You just need to learn how to thread your conversations with topics you want to talk about.

For example, when asked where you're from, don't answer with just where you're from. Add in the kind of area you live in, what it's like to live there, the reason why you chose that area, and/or any other describing details that add to the answer.

The more powerful details you can add, the better. You don't want to overload them with information, but you want to give details that will steer the conversation.

Another thing to keep in mind is that there's nothing wrong with injecting some threads when the conversation dies down.

Understand that when the conversation dies down, that's a perfect opportunity to introduce a new topic. When a topic dies down, it means that both of you are now spent on it.

This is the time for a new topic to be introduced, as your fuel for another topic has not been spent yet. If you bring up a new topic, make sure it's one you care about, and if they bring up a new topic, be as interested as you can in it.

Social skills are king

Having good social skills allows you to navigate life in a way that many other skills cannot. Since we are all social creatures, having social skills allows us to be good with people in general.

Not having charisma is making your life worse, but that can be reversed. You just need to put in the effort required to obtain the charisma that will unlock your life.

- Karl