Cheat Codes For Playful Conversation

social skills Sep 09, 2023
Cheat Codes For Playful Conversation

In the modern era, the vast majority of people do not enjoy making conversation with others. They find it boring, difficult, or both. I don't blame them, considering most people, including themselves, don't make themselves sound all that interesting. However uninteresting you may or may not be, there are cheat codes for playful conversation you can use to improve your interactions.

These are simple, easy-to-implement tricks that will make interacting with others actually enjoyable that you can start doing today. They do require a bit of effort, but that's about the only pre-requisite.

Once you put them into practice a little bit, you'll notice big improvements in your social skills that become second nature. You'll barely remember when you were struggling to even say hi.

I call them cheat codes but they aren't cheating at all, it just feels like it. Here are the three cheat codes for playful conversation.

1. A little bit of tomfoolery

Think back to the most enjoyable interactions you've had with others. Notice how they were memorable and fun moments. Moments where you were having genuine fun. In this era, society conditions us to believe that the emotions of others are sacred ground that should never be transgressed against. This leads to the sterilization of interactions we see today.

The most fun interactions we have with others are the ones that take us out of our usual tone and tumble. The ones that actually wake us up and make us want to pay attention.

These interactions grab our attention and we don't want them to let go because they serve as an escape from our norm. So the question becomes, how do you accomplish this?

It only takes a little bit of teasing and joking to create this effect on people. And when I say joking, I don't mean the kind of joke that isn't able to hurt even a fruitfly.

If you want to have an effect on people where you give them memorable interactions, you need to learn how to get a reaction out of them in a way that is entertaining for both of you.

This means that you will say things that, on paper, should offend them but because of the way you say it, it makes them laugh. To really get this down, it will require you to master your delivery. 

Tone, tempo, and attitude are key components to delivery. Spend your time working on these one by one and you'll start seeing results faster than you think.

2. Laugh it off

Have you ever met someone who was incapable of laughing at themself? Really stale to be around. And yet so many people are unable to do this fully. They can laugh at themselves, though most would prefer not to. This limitation only holds them back.

More often than not, we want people to see us in a positive light. We want them to think highly of us, and so we avoid being put down as much as possible.

But, there's a big flaw with this approach. If you keep avoiding you will eventually get tagged, because you cannot run forever.

The majority of people are driven by their egos and pride. These things want to preserve the self-image of you that's been built up. The image that you are amazing and worthy of praise.

There's one little problem: What happens when you are in a situation where you don't deserve any praise and are a prime target to be put down?

You can't deflect, because that would just cause an even bigger mess for you. Lying could work, but then you'd have to weave a story.

Eventually, you will have to accept that you aren't all that great. And that's okay because nobody is amazing at everything.

That's a long tangent to explain that it's better to mitigate than to avoid. When it comes to having a conversation where the perception of you is positive, this mitigation is even more prevalent.

There are too many people these days that are way too serious about too many things. They seem like the kind of person who can't take a joke. And the majority of these people truly can't unless it isn't at their expense. 

These kinds of people are the ones who sterilize what others say just because they have such a particular sense of humor that they won't accept anything that doesn't match.

The worst kind of person to try and enjoy the company of is one who can't laugh at themselves. Being unable to laugh at yourself, or at all, is a sign that you are too serious.

3. Easy as 1, 2, 3

Think back again to your most enjoyable social interactions. This time, notice how these interactions flowed effortlessly and without much friction. Now, notice who was doing most of the heavy lifting. Chances are they did their share, and so did you. Fascinating, isn't it?

I'm a firm believer in keeping things as simple as possible. Conversation is not only no different, but more important in this regard.

When conversations can have so many moving variables, it can be overwhelming if there's nothing to grasp onto. That's where this mindset comes in.

The best way to go about conversations is to make it easier on the other person. As in, make it easy for them to contribute.

Drop more hooks for them to latch onto during the conversation, ask them questions about themselves, and be curious, give more details that are still relevant to the questions they ask you, the list goes on.

The main point here is that you want to make it as easy as possible for them to contribute to the conversation.

Now, here's the catch. Even if you put in this work, they may still be terrible at making conversations work. If this happens, you need to accept it and move on.

This situation is not one in your control, so you have to accept it as what it is and move on to the next one.

However, most people will contribute because interesting conversations are fun. And when you have two people going back and forth in conversation, that's when the teasing and fun happen naturally.

Becoming socially adept is easier than you think

Social skills are not hard to develop, they just take effort and time. Coupled with the fact that most people don't really leave their houses anymore, it's no wonder that people are becoming socially awkward.

Being able to have those fun, playful conversations with others will draw them to you, making life that much more enjoyable. Having social options will lead to an abundance mentality which is especially important to have as a man.

These things will come in time, so you better get practicing. There's never been a better time to be the one starting those playful conversations.

- Karl