In this day and age, many people are raised to be socially acceptable. However, in the process, they end up denying and losing themselves. Today, we'll be covering why this happens and how to move through life with authenticity.

The points we'll be covering are:

• Direction: understanding your goals
• Obstacles: understanding your roadblocks
• Execution: understanding how to move forward

Move through life better than before

When I discovered how to do this, it was at a point in my life where I thought I wouldn't need it. Like many things in life, this discovery was accidental. 

For the vast majority of people, being more authentic is always helpful. For those who have already gotten there, even a little bit more can make the difference.

Direction: understanding your goals

Growing up, I was given the goals that every young person is given: go to school, get a degree, and get a job. Whether or not this advice is still good advice is besides the point here. The point of me bringing this up is this wasn't in line with what I wanted at the time.

When we go on a trip, we follow a set of directions to make sure we end up at the right location. You follow a road on a road trip, or fly by plane if flying somewhere.

Navigating life is no different. Problem is, most people are given the wrong directions to their desired location, then they wonder why they never arrive at the proper place.

To move through life with authenticity, you must first understand your goals. Without this, you won't have proper direction to guide you in the right direction.

Growing up, I got burnt out from college because I was given the goal of getting a degree. In other words, the only reason I had to do well was to earn money.

Eventually, I got to the point where I was asking myself if this is what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Would I be okay with this kind of mind-numbing monotony just to earn a paycheck?

Thing is, that mind-numbing monotony only exists because of the purpose behind your actions. 

If you only work your job for money, then of course you'll burn out. Most people will still go because they need a way to put food on the table, but this leads to people hating their jobs.

If, instead, you worked your job because you actually enjoy what you do, then even the hard parts are bearable. Mind you, this doesn't mean you need to love what you do, it just means you need to find enjoyment and satisfaction from it.

I still enjoy and find satisfaction from coding, it was just the pace of school that made me want to rip my hair out and forcibly forget about it. Even when I have those tough moments, I still enjoy it. 

When we understand our goals, we gain a better insight into not only why we do things, but how to adjust course if necessary. Goals, after all, are what give us direction.

To make the most of your goals, make sure they're goals you actually want to do and can fully align with. If you're going on a trip, at least make sure your destination is one you desire first.

Obstacles: understanding your roadblocks

The thing that separates you from achieving your goals is more often than not only your own mind. Sure, there are things like not having enough money or not having the right knowledge. In the majority of cases, though, how you perceive things makes the difference between success and failure.

In order to get from one destination to another, you need to not only understand where to go but how to get there efficiently. Most people these days tend to work harder instead of smarter, which slows down their progress by a whole lot.

Once we know where to go, we can start calculating how to overcome any obstacles we may face. There's a reason why it's a good idea to bring a first-aid kit on a road trip.

The difference between a trip and yourself is that it's easier to know what obstacles you will face. You can control yourself, therefore it's easier to understand what will stop you.

To move through life with authenticity, you need to address these things that will stop you. The hard part is admitting to yourself that you are struggling.

Most of us want to believe we are amazing and don't need help. We want to believe that we've got everything under control.

For most of the obstacles you face, you'll need to get some skin in the game first. Without that, it's very likely that you won't know what you need to target for yourself.

So when I failed with girls for the first time, you can imagine how troublesome the struggle was trying to figure out what went wrong. This is especially true since I didn't know anything about how to do this in a way that will make success more likely.

Your biggest enemy here is always going to be your mind giving you excuses. Running from the problem looks like anything that your mind tells you so you can let go of looking at how you could improve from this experience.

At first, when I failed with girls, I just kept going thinking that it would be a one off thing. When it turned out not to be, that's when I decided to take a step back and recalibrate.

The difficult part was figuring out which point to launch from. At this time, I knew my problems but not how to fix them.

The point of this stage, however, is not that you need to know how to solve your problem. The point at this stage is to recognize the issues you're facing so you can form a game plan to overcome them.

Execution: understanding how to move forward

We all live life, why not choose how? For most people, it's a scary thing to do that requires you to put on your big boy pants. When I was trying to figure out what to do after dropping out, this is certainly how I felt. It didn't last long, though, once I found the right things to keep me busy.

For most people raised to follow what others tell them, taking charge like this is very scary. You're so used to someone else calling the shots that you instinctively shy away from it.

However, this is the most crucial step to this whole process. Yes, it's important to recognize your goals and roadblocks, but it does nothing if you don't take action.

To move through life with authenticity, it's important that you take proper action. 

For example, approaching girls in order to progressively de-sensitize yourself is nowhere near as effective as approaching girls to prove a point to yourself. Both require the same action, but have a completely different output.

Proper action entails finding a permanent solution that you can rely on to keep the problem at bay. Something like progressive de-sensitization can work in the short term, but in the long run it isn't compatible with how tumultuous life can be.

When I dropped out of college, yes it was to get away from the intense stress of the specific school I went to, but it was also to prove to myself that I can thrive on any path I choose to follow. I wanted to prove to myself that I don't need to follow the expectations set on me by others to get by.

The result was a massive improvement to my mental health. My stress disappeared, I was able to get proper sleep again, and I finally felt satisfaction again.

The hardest part of moving forward is never figuring out what to do, it's actually doing it. 

If your next step is getting some skin in the game, you'll have to gather your courage and go for it. If you're next step is expanding your comfort zone, you need to make sure you do it in the right areas.

One key thing to keep in mind is to stay focused on what you need next instead of what gets you to your destination fastest. Most people get derailed in expanding their comfort zone because they aren't going in the order that benefits them most.

For you to reach your goals in the smartest way, you need to go about it in a smart manner. If you have the choice between proving a point to yourself and progressive desensitization, always choose proving a point.

Authenticity feels amazing

Once you reach the point of being authentic, you discover just how intoxicating it is. Finally, you can be yourself without having to hide it at all. 

This is how life should be. Being yourself and only yourself, and not letting anyone else's expectations of you or letting your insecurities define who you are and what you do.

Like many things, this process takes time and effort to reach the destination. However, the reward is more than worth it.

- Karl