It's not uncommon to see people who have no idea how to control their own emotions. These people are just so well hidden because they keep this side of them hidden. Unfortunately, this only makes it worse when this side of them does come out. Rather than let this become you, take it upon yourself to learn how to handle your emotions & trauma.

Emotions & trauma are very closely linked to each other. Emotions & trauma can feed into each other, causing a very vicious cycle.

The worst part is most people don't know they are caught in this cycle. They assume they're fine, not wanting to admit that they have untreated wounds.

Don't let this be you, you can become so much better if you take the time to learn how to handle your emotions & trauma. Here are the three biggest ways I've learned to curb my emotional impulses.

1. Reframing

There's a concept in physics called relativity. Basically, no two viewpoints are ever viewing the same thing unless both spectators are in the exact same position. This concept also works on your emotions & trauma. By reframing the perspective, you gain greater emotional control.

In this life, you have two options: either your emotions are in harmony with you, or they run the show. Of the methods I've found, reframing is one of the most used ones.

Put simply, you take something that happened to you and then challenge your perspective on it.

For example, if you got five answers wrong on a test rather than thinking you're a failure, reframe it to say that there are some things you need to brush up on. Or, if you got dumped by a girl, you can reframe it to say that she wasn't the right fit for you.

Changing your perspective in this manner will shift your energy away from the negative and toward the positive. This leads to you doing more productive stuff rather than wallowing in negativity.

Of the times I've used this method, the most useful time for me was when I was undoing my trauma around social awkwardness. I had been awkward in social situations before, and that made me hesitant to try being social.

I took this and reframed it to instead say that I tried and failed, and there's nothing wrong with trying. 

Next time you can't get your head out of a not-so-ideal situation that's already past, try reframing it.

2. Reflecting/Journaling with purpose

Have you ever tried junk journaling? When you write down stuff just to get it off your mind? Well, that's kind of what this is. Reflecting with purpose is when you get things off your mind in a way that makes you less likely to repeat the same mistake. 

Reflection is an amazing way to temper your emotions. Whereas reframing changes the energy, reflecting allows you to tame your emotions more easily.

Reflection serves in two ways.

First, you're dumping the stress out of your mind. It sounds very woo woo bro sciency, but it works pretty damn well. Just seeing what's causing the stress written on a piece of paper does something to make it seem smaller.

When done repeatedly, your mind gets the idea that you can easily control your emotions and that they are not to be feared.

Secondly, you can make an actionable plan to prevent it from happening again. When you reflect with purpose, the purpose in question is to find what you did right and wrong.

By finding both of these, you can improve what you did right while preventing what you did wrong in the future.

By taking both of these steps into account, you're giving yourself the greatest actionable chance possible to tame your emotions before they get out of control.

3. Meditation

You've probably seen it everywhere, but meditation truly is so powerful. It has the power to change your mental health on its own. Of course, the more you use the better. However, I have to recommend meditation because of how effective it is.

Meditation is like exercise for your mental health. It requires conscious effort to do and is greatly rewarding when done properly.

The main benefit of it is that it teaches you to maintain mental calmness. When you cultivate this calm, it allows you to more readily remain calm in the face of strong emotions.

To properly cultivate this, you simply focus on something that isn't distracting while letting your thoughts be. Don't encourage any, and don't dismiss any.

By doing this, you encourage your mind to flow naturally. This leads to your mind naturally 'unclogging' itself over time.

This unclogging allows your stress to be more easily handled. And when this happens, your overall emotional control goes up.

Emotional control is more important than ever

In a world where we can make so many more decisions, where we don't have to be bound by the same old rules, it's more important than ever that you're able to make responsible decisions for yourself.

If you're unable to handle your emotions & trauma, making decisions will be harder than it needs to be. For this reason, you want to learn how to handle your emotions & trauma.

It's not an easy process, but it's 100% worth doing. In the end, it will allow you to be more of a masculine man that others can rely on.

- Karl