Far too many people these days are overly attached to things they shouldn't be. Things like other people's actions, outcomes they can't control, how others perceive them, and negative emotions are a few key items on the list. Regardless of what your attachment is to, it's not healthy to have too many outside of your bubble of influence. Instead of getting rid of all attachments, learn how to temper your attachments instead.

There is no reason to go to the other extreme and get rid of attachments. Having things we are attached to, things that mean something to us means we actually lived hard enough to care about something or someone.

However, attachments tend to weigh heavily. The more of them you have, the faster that weight catches up to you and you get overwhelmed.

It is better, therefore, to learn how to temper your attachments so only worthwhile ones remain. Here are two big tips to help you with this process.

1. The bubble of influence

Have you ever wondered how some people are able to hold an audience captive or make people do whatever they say? This is a big part of it. We're just repurposing it to suit our needs here. When deciding which attachments to let go of and which to keep, remember to consult your bubble of influence.

This concept takes a bit of explaining, so let's start right away.

Imagine that there is a bubble around you. Everything in this bubble you have full control over, and things can only enter your bubble or be connected to something in your bubble if you allow it.

Even when an outside entity is connected to something in your bubble, you still don't have control over that entity. That entity is not, after all, part of your bubble.

But, the thing they are connected to you can control still. This is where leverage comes from. If one of those shared connections all of a sudden becomes unfavorable for you, you can threaten to break them off.

Once a connection has been broken off, for whatever reason, it becomes very difficult to rebuild. Problems only start to arise when people refuse to let go of connections that have been broken off.

When it comes to tempering your attachments, there are two types you want to get rid of.

First, get rid of the ones where there used to be a shared connection and the remains of it on your end are no longer serving you.

These types of attachments do nothing but slow you down. They behave like anchors and you're the ship. You can't go anywhere fast if you're being weighed down like that.

Second, get rid of the attachments that are only connected to you that are not serving you. These ones are even worse, actively sending you backward in terms of progress.

By being able to identify the attachments to let go of, you can start making progress toward speeding up and reaching your goals.

2. Challenge your beliefs/ clean up your bubble

We're often told to challenge ourselves when we want to develop a new skill set or become someone different. However, we're never really told to challenge our beliefs. Just as it's important to challenge yourself professionally, you must also take measures to challenge your beliefs.

I've talked before about challenging your beliefs, but today I'm going into it a little deeper. In the context of attachments, we can create a clearer picture.

Oftentimes, the things that hold us back are our beliefs more so than people or systems. We truly are our own best friend or worst enemy.

So, what does this have to do with tempering your attachments? Well, it's not enough to just identify the ones you want to get rid of; to actually get rid of them, you need to challenge them.

We have attachments for a reason. To get rid of them, you will need to do some work to uproot them for good.

Once you've found the attachment you want to get rid of, question it, state why it's holding you back, state how much further you could go if you let it go; whatever you need to do to be able to let go.

It is very scary and difficult to change. Change means going away from what is known, and at least if you stick to what you know you will live.

However, there are attachments we must let go of that do not serve us no matter how badly we want them to. This can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and toes being stepped on.

Ultimately, the choice is yours. When making that choice, keep in mind that living somebody else's idea of your life will lead you to misery.

Look inward

Too many people these days are spending too much time searching for happiness outside when you can find it without stepping outside.

What causes a lot of people to become miserable are attachments that have become toxic and are actively preventing progress. When you learn how to temper your attachments, this will no longer be an issue for you.

- Karl