In this era, many people love to pick sides. They pit themselves against each other, saying the other side is wrong. Instead of adopting this toxic mentality, you should learn how to walk the middle path which is what we'll be going over today.

The tips we'll be covering in today's post are the following:

• A lack of understanding leads to division
• Understanding is crucial to the middle path
• There is always a third option

A lack of Understanding leads to Division

Think of the last time somebody got mad at you without knowing the whole story. Made you feel pretty terrible right? Having experienced this situation, I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy. Yet, when we don't walk the middle path, we cause this same kind of terrible hurt to others.  

We can boil down pretty much all conflict in the world to a lack of understanding. When we can't see eye to eye, conflict of some form is inevitable.

There are two cognitive biases all humans have that make division not only commonplace but somewhat expected. The first one is that how we see things is how everybody sees things. The second one is that we believe that everybody is focusing on us.

When we believe that we all share the same viewpoint, it leads to inevitable clashes when somebody has a different viewpoint. Unless we can agree to disagree, things can get ugly pretty fast.

Because it is a common thing to believe that we all possess the same knowledge and understanding, it's far too easy to pit ourselves against each other when it was all just a misunderstanding.

When we believe that everybody is focusing on us, it makes us more conscious of our mistakes and shortcomings. We believe that the self-criticism we give ourselves in our head is how others are thinking about us.

This viewpoint can be the impetus that causes somebody who is more insecure to do something tyrannical as a means of proving to not only themselves but to others that they are capable.

Learning how to walk the middle path requires us to understand how this lack of understanding causes division amongst the species that are supposed to be social animals.

Understanding is crucial to the middle path

If you've ever watched somebody speed-run a video game, it seems unreal. They zoom through in a way that wasn't intended but is exceptional nonetheless. Like those speed-runners, understanding is the key to zooming along life through the middle path. Unlike those speed-runners, it is entirely intended.

If there's a faster way to accomplish something, why not use it? The only answer to this question is that it's difficult to pick up.

However, in this manner, we must compare the difficulty with the rewards. From my experience, the rewards are quite worthwhile.

When we have an understanding, we can see all sides from the unbiased middle ground. We can see the validity and flaws in all the arguments.

Without this understanding, we end up making choices that acknowledge only one person when we could've made one that acknowledges everybody. This is what causes the division in the last section.

By walking the middle path, we make choices that satisfy everybody involved without making anybody feel like they were left out. 

For example, if two kids want to play with the same toy but there's only one, they will have to take turns. A possible solution is to let the kid who got to it first play with it for 30 minutes, then let the other kid play with it for 30 minutes also.

There will be times when the people involved can't agree to the deal, so in that case, you must take the option of no deal. You either get a win-win, a lose-win, or a lose-lose. Lose-win is the worst option for a deal.

By having sufficient understanding, we end up in a mental space where we can make decisions that allow us to acknowledge others without being a pushover.

There's always a third option in conflicts

In this era, too many people see things in a black-or-white manner. They believe that everything is either good or bad. This view is flawed because it's steeped in subjectivity and emotions. When we allow emotions to make decisions for us, our understanding becomes muffled.

Whatever situation you may find yourself in, understand that it's never a black-or-white situation. Seeing things in that way denies you a lot of the depth and lessons that life has to offer.

In any situation, there is always a middle path option that you can take. This middle path option is always free from the volatility of black-or-white thinking.

In order to be able to utilize these third options, you need to cultivate the ability to look at situations as they are and remove the subjectivity from them. As long as there's subjectivity influencing you, the third option will never work and will backfire.

Learning how to walk the middle path requires you to train yourself to see all sides of a situation and understand them as they are. There are a couple of methods that make this easy.

The first and easiest is to journal. Write down the views of one side and write down the views of the other, then compare. What you'll notice is that each side involved is aiming for the same thing, but their methods cause conflict between them.

Once you start seeing the motives of each side, you'll find that your frustration goes down and you become much more level-headed. However, it's hard to see these motives when you're steeped in emotion. This training aims to make sure you see the motives before any emotions can influence you.

The second method is to adopt a new mentality. This mentality states that there are two base outcomes in any scenario: either it ends favorably or it doesn't.

The middle path option is always the best one for achieving that favorable end scenario. After all, for us men, the best end is a peaceful one. Choosing anything besides the middle path leads to things getting messy.

In any scenario, you have the choice to either take a side or to be neutral. By taking the neutral stance, you give yourself the best stance to resolve things without any fuss.

The middle path requires patience and practice

Just like many things in life, utilizing the middle path requires you to practice it and to be patient with the process. We humans are naturally selfish, so it can be difficult to find that balance between selfishness and thoughtfulness.

However, once you strike that balance, it's like the secrets of the universe unravel. Using it becomes effortless, it feels like a cheat code and is totally worth the effort.

- Karl