There are so many people these days trying to tell you how to direct your life. They give you their ideas of what a fulfilling life is, and it's often that their ideas don't line up with ours. Rather than listening to them, live life the way you want to.

To make sure you're leading the life you want, follow these steps:

1. Identify what you want
2. Identify what's holding you back
3. Make the necessary swaps

Identify the way you want to live life

It's so simple, yet it needs to be asked. So many people have an idea of what they want in life, yet they don't ever put it into action. Others genuinely have no idea what they want. Either way, if you don't act on it, then you're as good as not knowing.

To live life according to somebody else's idea of your life is to invite misery. We cannot be truly happy unless we are living according to our desires.

We start the process by identifying the way we want to live our lives. Whether you already know what you want or don't, this step is still crucial.

You must look inward and ask yourself who you are and who that person wants from life. Then, you need to listen to the answer.

More often than not, there is an idea of what you want already in you, you've just been suppressing it to fit in. This is toxic and should not be done.

The first step to living life the way you want to is to have clarity over how you want to live it. It is impossible to make a solid product without a solid blueprint or plan and life is no different.

Go all out on the plan you come up with. Write down all the ideas you think up, even if they overlap. Then, once you're happy with the result, trim the list.

Also, your priority list is never set in stone so don't stress over it. The point of the plan is to move in the direction you want to go instead of moving to a specific outcome.

To live according to somebody else's idea of our life is a recipe for misery. The first step in breaking away from this misery is to identify how you wish to lead your life.

Identify the roadblocks

When we face a problem, we have three options: find a new solution, keep trying, or give up. In this case, we only have two, a new solution or keep trying. I'm a firm believer that if something isn't working then you should find a new solution.

Once you've identified how you want to live your life, it's time to identify why you aren't living that way currently. Luckily, this part is the easier one.

Now that you know what you want, identifying the roadblocks is easy. To make it easier, here are a few steps you can follow.

First, ask yourself why you aren't doing it yet. If your reason is simply you haven't started yet, then nothing's stopping you except yourself.

However, chances are your reason is not that simple. This leads us to the second step.

You need to dig deep and be brutally honest with yourself as to why you aren't doing what you must. This is the part that most people get wrong.

In being honest with yourself, you are admitting to being wrong and living in a way that doesn't line up with what you want. Admitting this to yourself is a big hit to your ego, which is essential to the success of this process.

The greater your ego, the harder it will be to get past your roadblocks. Unfortunately, the ego can prevent us from doing what is necessary to maintain stability in our lives.

The third step in this process is to overcome your ego and recognize that roadblocks are preventing you from living life the way you want to live. 

Overcome your ego and make the swaps

Think back to a time when you knew what you had to do but didn't have the strength to do it. This is one of those kind of times. You will know what you need to do, but do you have the strength to do it? 

At this point, you know what you want as well as what's stopping you. All that's left to do is do the work necessary to make the swaps work.

There is often one thing in the way between you and your desired way to live life. Generally, this is because you need to overcome something like a disproving parent or deep-rooted belief.

Your ego will hold onto these things for the simple reason to not be wrong. To succeed here, you need to be ok with being wrong and learning from your mistakes.

Between brute-forcing your ego and befriending it, I recommend befriending it. It's a lot easier to make progress when everyone is on the same side.

To befriend the ego and bring it over to your side, you need to understand the landscape of your mind as it is at that moment. This is like making a deal: both people agree and understand what is being exchanged, so neither side feels cheated.

The ego operates similarly. If it feels like it's being swindled, it will be resistant to your proposals and will put up a fuss.

When you get your ego on your side, all that's left to do is take the necessary action. This is where you need to be brave and conquer your fear.

At the end of the day, acquiring the life you desire will come down to how much discomfort you can handle. For this to happen, you need to overcome your ego and take action.

Live your only life the way you want to

Everybody knows that you only get one shot at life, so you should make the most of it. The problem is so many people are letting others dictate how they live their lives.

Rather than conforming to what others want just to fit in, be true to yourself. The misery of living a lie is not worth social acceptance.

- Karl