How to Be More MasculineOct 12, 2022
Let's face it, the modern day makes it super hard to know how to be more masculine. Nobody really knows what it entails, and all the answers given in the modern day only seem to make it worse.
On top of this, many young boys don't grow up with proper masculine role models. As a result, they never learn what proper masculinity is.
The truth is, masculinity isn't what modern society tells you it is; it isn't about serving women, it isn't about being a living atm, and it isn't about banging all the girls you see either.
Masculinity is something more central and internal than getting laid or serving others. To be more masculine, you need to know how to cultivate it properly. Here are the main tenants of masculinity.
How to be More Masculine in Relation to Women
If we're going to talk about masculinity, we need to talk about how it inevitably relates to women. To be more masculine in relation to women, you need to make them feel safe.
Women's baseline perception of the world is one of fear. This means that women need constant reassurance that they aren't crazy for being more emotional and chaotic compared to you.
When a woman doesn't feel safe, she behaves in a more masculine manner. This flip in her behavior causes harm to her, especially mentally & emotionally. Women want to be feminine, but if they don't feel safe then they have no choice but to be masculine.
To paint the picture of how to make a woman feel safe, look at this image:
When we men think of safe, we think more of the dog while women think more of the wolf. Men feel safe when there's no danger to them, while women feel safe when the danger directs itself at others & not her.
This is the reason why nice guys finish last. Nice guys don't make her feel safe because they aren't capable of protecting her the way she wants to be protected. To be more masculine means you know how to make her feel protected & safe around you.
Masculinity on Its Own
We've reached a point in history for the first time where masculinity & femininity are no longer required to be in related definition to each other. What this leads to is an outdated definition of masculinity.
Old definitions were defined through external focus, while our new definition is one of internal focus. Instead of focusing mainly on women, masculinity is now defined by focusing on yourself as a man.
To make her feel safe, you need to become a more competent masculine man.
To be masculine means you are strong & free. You can't be free if you're submissive to a boss, and you can't be strong if you don't nurture your body & mind.
That being said, working a job so you can eventually achieve financial freedom is fine as long as you keep your job as a stepping stone. On the same note, you won't get your dream body as fast as you may think; it'll take a lot longer.
Achieving freedom & strength as a man requires you to make progress. Progress requires you to be disciplined in developing your skillset.
To be masculine is to have skills that make you needed & making progress is the fastest way to do that.
To be Masculine is to be Needed
A couple of important details to add here about masculinity.
First, being masculine means you have an inherent need to be needed.
We men follow the simple logic of "I go where I'm needed." If we're not needed somewhere, we go elsewhere.
This is the part of men that is purpose-driven. We men are guided by our need for purpose in our lives. Purpose in our careers, purpose in relationships, you name it & we need it. This is why progress is so damn important for us.
Second, none of this means we end up as slaves to women.
I used to think this way until I realized the last point. It's not that we want to serve women, it's that we want to feel needed by them & keep them safe.
This is an important distinction to make in order to avoid becoming a nice guy. Proper masculinity means that you are capable of setting boundaries & leading her, all while maintaining the relationship & your career.
On the same token, you want to avoid women who put you down or make you feel like less of a man, even if you did nothing wrong.
Of course, in order to have an easier time with women, you need to understand them more. That in & of itself is its own journey but is one worth the effort.
When you understand women, when you "just get it", you'll notice how much more needed you are by the women in your life.